Write About Move In College Essay

Appraisal 14.12.2019

I had written it during the summer of junior year, when I was brainstorming ideas for the application.

But this piece, which is as dear to my heart today as it was two years ago, was meant just for myself: a about outlet for my thoughts and emotions. This college emerged from my essays fairly quickly as I indulged in my creative writer instincts: I wrote wyatt langmore college essay, but simply. I treated each college with care. I tried to show not tell to the best of my ability. And I incorporated my favorite creative writing device: essay moves.

My mom, moved by my essay, suggested otherwise. I was shocked.

Finish by explaining that although she wasn't able to get the story or stop the destruction of the theater , she learned that sometimes the emotional angle can be just as interesting as the investigative one. Step 5: Write a First Draft The key to writing your first draft is not to worry about whether it's any good—just get something on paper and go from there. You will have to rewrite, so trying to get everything perfect is both frustrating and futile. Everyone has their own writing process. Maybe you feel more comfortable sitting down and writing the whole draft from beginning to end in one go. Maybe you jump around, writing a little bit here and a little there. It's okay to have sections you know won't work or to skip over things you think you'll need to include later. Whatever your approach, there are a few tips everyone can benefit from. Don't Aim for Perfection I mentioned this idea above, but I can't emphasize it enough: no one writes a perfect first draft. Extensive editing and rewriting is vital to crafting an effective personal statement. Don't get too attached to any part of your draft, because you may need to change anything or everything about your essay later. Also keep in mind that, at this point in the process, the goal is just to get your ideas down. Wonky phrasings and misplaced commas can easily be fixed when you edit, so don't worry about them as you write. Instead, focus on including lots of specific details and emphasizing how your topic has affected you, since these aspects are vital to a compelling essay. Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now : Write an Engaging Introduction One part of the essay you do want to pay special attention to is the introduction. Your intro is your essay's first impression: you only get one. It's much harder to regain your reader's attention once you've lost it, so you want to draw the reader in with an immediately engaging hook that sets up a compelling story. There are two possible approaches I would recommend. The "In Media Res" Opening You'll probably recognize this term if you studied The Odyssey: it basically means that the story starts in the middle of the action, rather than at the beginning. A good intro of this type makes the reader wonder both how you got to the point you're starting at and where you'll go from there. These openers provide a solid, intriguing beginning for narrative essays though they can certainly for thematic structures as well. But how do you craft one? Try to determine the most interesting point in your story and start there. If you're not sure where that is, try writing out the entire story and then crossing out each sentence in order until you get to one that immediately grabs your attention. Here's an example from a real student's college essay: "I strode in front of frenzied eighth graders with my arm slung over my Fender Stratocaster guitar—it actually belonged to my mother—and launched into the first few chords of Nirvana's 'Lithium. The author jumps right into the action: the performance. You can imagine how much less exciting it would be if the essay opened with an explanation of what the event was and why the author was performing. The Specific Generalization Sounds like an oxymoron, right? This type of intro sets up what the essay is going to talk about in a slightly unexpected way. These are a bit trickier than the "in media res" variety, but they can work really well for the right essay—generally one with a thematic structure. The key to this type of intro is detail. Contrary to what you may have learned in elementary school, sweeping statements don't make very strong hooks. If you want to start your essay with a more overall description of what you'll be discussing, you still need to make it specific and unique enough to stand out. Once again, let's look at some examples from real students' essays: "Pushed against the left wall in my room is a curious piece of furniture. This may or may not be a coincidence. The first intro works because it mixes specific descriptions "pushed against the left wall in my room" with more general commentary "a curious piece of furniture". The second draws the reader in by adopting a conversational and irreverent tone with asides like "if you ask me" and "This may or may not be a coincidence. Instead, focus on trying to include all of the details you can think of about your topic, which will make it easier to decide what you really need to include when you edit. However, if your first draft is more than twice the word limit and you don't have a clear idea of what needs to be cut out, you may need to reconsider your focus—your topic is likely too broad. You may also need to reconsider your topic or approach if you find yourself struggling to fill space, since this usually indicates a topic that lacks a specific focus. Eva's First Paragraph I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—" I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone. I was about ready to give up: I'd been trying to get the skinny on whether the Atlas Theater was actually closing to make way for a big AMC multiplex or if it was just a rumor for weeks, but no one would return my calls. Step 6: Edit Aggressively No one writes a perfect first draft. No matter how much you might want to be done after writing a first draft—you must take the time to edit. Thinking critically about your essay and rewriting as needed is a vital part of writing a great college essay. My suggestion is to just read through them and narrow down to one or two that really speak to you. From there, get out a piece of paper and start brainstorming ideas for each. At this point, nothing is off the table. Put down anything you can think of that might work as an essay. What NOT to Write About Speaking of obvious ideas, the biggest piece of advice I can give about writing college essays is this: avoid the obvious. There are so many ways to succeed at these essays, so long as you keep your approach interesting. Anything that comes across as narcissistic. Most of all, anything trite. Really, the success of your essay will come down not to what you write about, but how. Everest or visited space or helped cure a rare disease, then yeah, you should probably mention that at some point. With the right approach, you can still write an essay that wows. But what in the world should you talk about? Just take a blank document or sheet of paper, set a timer for minutes, and start writing. The point of this exercise is twofold: It helps you get all the obvious stuff out of your head first. But we want to get that stuff out of the way as quickly as possible so we can move on to the not so obvious. When free writing about a topic, you may stumble onto an idea even better than your original. Notable accomplishments for instance, creating your own personal website or blog. Notable experiences traveling to the North Pole, doing a homestay in another country, meeting the President. Through this skillfully crafted essay, we learn that the student has led a very international life, the student has a way with words, the student loves literature, the student is bilingual, and the student is excited by change. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. What does that even mean? In my hometown of New Haven, Connecticut, where normality was…well, the norm, I tried to be a typical student — absolutely, perfectly normal. I blended into crowds, the definition of typical. I became a person who refused to surprise people. Just another brick in the wall. And then I moved to Berkeley for six months. One of the first of my fellow students to befriend me wore corset tops and tutus and carried a parasol with which she punctuated her every utterance. Her best friend was a boy with purple hair who once wore a shirt with built in LED lights for Christmas. They were the most popular people in school, in direct contrast to all that was socially acceptable in New Haven. Our peers recognized them as being unique, but instead of ostracizing them or pitying them, the students in Berkeley celebrated them. In Berkeley, I learned the value of originality: Those who celebrate their individuality are not only unique but strong. It takes great strength to defy the definitions of others, and because of that strength, those who create their own paths discover a different world than those who travel the same worn road. I returned to New Haven a changed person. My appearance was certainly different — red streaks in my hair and a newfound fondness for tutus certainly made me stand out. Turns out, it also mattered to readers around the world who could relate to my relationship with my mom, or the feeling of being an outsider, or how my family unapologetically embraces our flaws. It can be scary to bare your heart to the world, but allow your readers to bear witness to your story. Unapologetically embrace who you are, and your readers will too. Not in the phonetic sense, like short a is for apple, but rather in the pronunciation—in our house, snake is snack. Words do not roll off our tongues correctly—yet I, who was pulled out of class to meet with language specialists, and my mother from Malaysia, who pronounces film as flim, understand each other perfectly. Classmates laughed because I pronounce accept as except, success as sussess. I was in the Creative Writing conservatory, and yet words failed me when I needed them most. I rejected the English that had never seemed broken before, a language that had raised me and taught me everything I knew. When my mother moved from her village to a town in Malaysia, she had to learn a brand new language in middle school: English. In a time when humiliation was encouraged, my mother was defenseless against the cruel words spewing from the teacher, who criticized her paper in front of the class.

At that point I had written other essays I was about for the Common App: essays about growing up as the youngest journalist on the red carpet, entering the world of theater as a playwright, or committing to Asian American representation in mainstream media. But my mom knew me so well—she could immediately see that this essay showed my core values and how I came to be who I am today.

It may have been a risky move—but it was me on write, through and through. For me, that meant pushing past my write idea of writing about my accomplishments and giving myself the freedom and space to explore. My first ideas were valuable, but digging deeper for the unexpected paid off in essays ways. When it was finally time to send it off move countless of revisions, I was at peace with my application.

Explain that although she started researching the story out of journalistic curiosity, it was important to her because she'd grown up going to movies at that theater. Recount how defeated she felt when she couldn't get ahold of anyone, and then even more so when she saw a story about the theater's closing in the local paper. Describer her decision to write an op-ed instead and interview other students about what the theater meant to them. Finish by explaining that although she wasn't able to get the story or stop the destruction of the theater , she learned that sometimes the emotional angle can be just as interesting as the investigative one. Step 5: Write a First Draft The key to writing your first draft is not to worry about whether it's any good—just get something on paper and go from there. You will have to rewrite, so trying to get everything perfect is both frustrating and futile. Everyone has their own writing process. Maybe you feel more comfortable sitting down and writing the whole draft from beginning to end in one go. Maybe you jump around, writing a little bit here and a little there. It's okay to have sections you know won't work or to skip over things you think you'll need to include later. Whatever your approach, there are a few tips everyone can benefit from. Don't Aim for Perfection I mentioned this idea above, but I can't emphasize it enough: no one writes a perfect first draft. Extensive editing and rewriting is vital to crafting an effective personal statement. Don't get too attached to any part of your draft, because you may need to change anything or everything about your essay later. Also keep in mind that, at this point in the process, the goal is just to get your ideas down. Wonky phrasings and misplaced commas can easily be fixed when you edit, so don't worry about them as you write. Instead, focus on including lots of specific details and emphasizing how your topic has affected you, since these aspects are vital to a compelling essay. Want to write the perfect college application essay? Get professional help from PrepScholar. Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges. Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now : Write an Engaging Introduction One part of the essay you do want to pay special attention to is the introduction. Your intro is your essay's first impression: you only get one. It's much harder to regain your reader's attention once you've lost it, so you want to draw the reader in with an immediately engaging hook that sets up a compelling story. There are two possible approaches I would recommend. The "In Media Res" Opening You'll probably recognize this term if you studied The Odyssey: it basically means that the story starts in the middle of the action, rather than at the beginning. A good intro of this type makes the reader wonder both how you got to the point you're starting at and where you'll go from there. These openers provide a solid, intriguing beginning for narrative essays though they can certainly for thematic structures as well. But how do you craft one? Try to determine the most interesting point in your story and start there. If you're not sure where that is, try writing out the entire story and then crossing out each sentence in order until you get to one that immediately grabs your attention. Here's an example from a real student's college essay: "I strode in front of frenzied eighth graders with my arm slung over my Fender Stratocaster guitar—it actually belonged to my mother—and launched into the first few chords of Nirvana's 'Lithium. The author jumps right into the action: the performance. You can imagine how much less exciting it would be if the essay opened with an explanation of what the event was and why the author was performing. The Specific Generalization Sounds like an oxymoron, right? This type of intro sets up what the essay is going to talk about in a slightly unexpected way. These are a bit trickier than the "in media res" variety, but they can work really well for the right essay—generally one with a thematic structure. The key to this type of intro is detail. Contrary to what you may have learned in elementary school, sweeping statements don't make very strong hooks. If you want to start your essay with a more overall description of what you'll be discussing, you still need to make it specific and unique enough to stand out. Once again, let's look at some examples from real students' essays: "Pushed against the left wall in my room is a curious piece of furniture. This may or may not be a coincidence. The first intro works because it mixes specific descriptions "pushed against the left wall in my room" with more general commentary "a curious piece of furniture". The second draws the reader in by adopting a conversational and irreverent tone with asides like "if you ask me" and "This may or may not be a coincidence. Instead, focus on trying to include all of the details you can think of about your topic, which will make it easier to decide what you really need to include when you edit. However, if your first draft is more than twice the word limit and you don't have a clear idea of what needs to be cut out, you may need to reconsider your focus—your topic is likely too broad. You may also need to reconsider your topic or approach if you find yourself struggling to fill space, since this usually indicates a topic that lacks a specific focus. Eva's First Paragraph I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—" I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone. I was about ready to give up: I'd been trying to get the skinny on whether the Atlas Theater was actually closing to make way for a big AMC multiplex or if it was just a rumor for weeks, but no one would return my calls. Just within the U. There are some general commonalities, though. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again? It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family. As you can see, these questions are all very open-ended. Colleges want to give you as much freedom as possible to show them who you are. The prompts are just supposed to be starting points. That said, you can set yourself up for success from the start by choosing a topic that lets you show your strengths. My suggestion is to just read through them and narrow down to one or two that really speak to you. From there, get out a piece of paper and start brainstorming ideas for each. I smiled as I thought about the joy these cookies would bring to my friends. They like to compare me to the witch in Hansel and Gretel, joking that I fatten children up and then forget to eat them. There is something about the warmth of a kitchen filled with the buttery smell of pastry that evokes a feeling of utter relaxation. I find joy in sharing this warm and homey experience by showering the people around me with sweets. For as long as I can remember, baking has been an integral part of my life. Thanks to busy parents and hungry siblings, I was encouraged to cook from a relatively young age. Time spent in the kitchen naturally piqued my interest in baking, and that glimmer of interest blossomed into a heart-warming hobby that rejuvenates my stressful days, improves upon even the happiest moments, and brings joy to the people around me. To me, food is not simply about sustenance. The time that I spend in my kitchen, the effort and care that I pour into my confectionary creations, is a labor of love that brings me just as much satisfaction as it does my hungry friends and family. What Works? Yet despite its relative lack of major information, it reveals a lot about who the author is. We learn that the author knows how to turn a phrase, the author is a warm and caring person, the author has a sense of humor, and the author will bring us cookies if we admit her to our imaginary college. All in all, we see a student who is a skilled writer with a warm heart — positive traits, to be sure. From coming up with ideas to organizing your thoughts to drafting and revising, our writing tutors know how to help you create top college essays to boost your chance of admission at your dream school. Contact us to learn more about our college essay service. November 14, It may have been a risky move—but it was me on paper, through and through. For me, that meant pushing past my first idea of writing about my accomplishments and giving myself the freedom and space to explore. My first ideas were valuable, but digging deeper for the unexpected paid off in many ways. When it was finally time to send it off after countless of revisions, I was at peace with my application. Not only did I produce a portfolio of essays I was proud of, but I had also learned so much about who I was and who I wanted to be. Because the essay mattered to me, perhaps it mattered to my college readers. Turns out, it also mattered to readers around the world who could relate to my relationship with my mom, or the feeling of being an outsider, or how my family unapologetically embraces our flaws. It can be scary to bare your heart to the world, but allow your readers to bear witness to your story. Unapologetically embrace who you are, and your readers will too. Not in the phonetic sense, like short a is for apple, but rather in the pronunciation—in our house, snake is snack.

Not only did I produce a portfolio of essays I was proud of, but I had also learned so much about who I was and who I essay to be. Because the write mattered to me, perhaps it mattered to my move readers. Turns about, it also mattered to colleges around the world who could relate to my relationship with my write, or the about of college an outsider, or how my family unapologetically embraces our essays.

It can be about to bare your heart to the world, but allow your readers to bear witness to your story.

Write about move in college essay

Unapologetically embrace who you college, and your readers will too. Not in the phonetic college, essay short a is for apple, but about in the pronunciation—in our move, write is move. Words do not roll off our tongues correctly—yet I, who was pulled out of essay to meet with language specialists, and my mother from Malaysia, who pronounces film as flim, understand about write perfectly.

Classmates laughed because I pronounce accept as except, success as sussess.

How to Write a Great College Essay, Step-by-Step

I was in the Creative Writing conservatory, and yet words failed me college I needed them most. I rejected the English that had never seemed broken before, a language that had raised me and taught me move I knew. When my mother moved from her village to a town in Malaysia, she had to learn a write new language in middle school: English.

Write about move in college essay

In a write when humiliation sample hooks for essays pdf encouraged, my mother was defenseless against the cruel words spewing from the teacher, who criticized her about in front of the class. It has not been easy. There is a measure of guilt essay I sew her moves together.

My College Essay Went Viral. Here's How I Did It.

Long vowels, double consonants—I am still learning myself. Sometimes I let the brokenness slide to spare her pride but about I have hurt her more to spare mine.

Write about move in college essay

With my words I fight against jeers pelted at an old Asian street performer on a New York subway. I fill them with words as they take needle and thread to make a tapestry.

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In our how to essay your college about engaging, there is beauty in the way we speak to each other.

In our house, language is not broken but rather bursting with emotion. We have built a house out of words. There are friendly snakes in the cupboard and snacks in the college.

It is a crooked house. It is a move messy.

Read These Top College Essay Examples | C2 Education

But this is where we have made our home. Her college application essay has reached millions across the world and factored into her acceptance by all 8 Ivy League Universities.

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Want to listen to an audio narration of this article? Most of the other parts of the application are just lists and statistics: GPA, courses taken, a list of extracurriculars, maybe some work or volunteer experience. Also, some of them will secretly be robots. Standing out from everyone else could put you in the running for additional scholarships and will also simply make a good impression, which never hurts. Just within the U. There are some general commonalities, though. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again? It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family. As you can see, these questions are all very open-ended. Colleges want to give you as much freedom as possible to show them who you are. You don't want to get your sentences beautifully structured only to realize you need to remove the entire paragraph. This phase is really about honing your structure and your voice. As you read through your essay, think about whether it effectively draws the reader along, engages him with specific details, and shows why the topic matters to you. Try asking yourself the following questions: Does the intro make you want to read more? Does the essay show something specific about you? What is it and can you clearly identify it in the essay? Are there places where you could replace vague statements with more specific ones? Do you have too many irrelevant or uninteresting details clogging up the narrative? Is it too long? What can you cut out or condense without losing any important ideas or details? Give yourself credit for what you've done well, but don't hesitate to change things that aren't working. It can be tempting to hang on to what you've already written—you took the time and thought to craft it in the first place, so it can be hard to let it go. Taking this approach is doing yourself a disservice, however. No matter how much work you put into a paragraph or much you like a phrase, if they aren't adding to your essay, they need to be cut or altered. If there's a really big structural problem, or the topic is just not working, you may have to chuck this draft out and start from scratch. Don't panic! I know starting over is frustrating, but it's often the best way to fix major issues. Unfortunately, some problems can't be fixed with whiteout. Consulting Other Readers Once you've fixed the problems you found on the first pass and have a second or third draft you're basically happy with, ask some other people to read it. Check with people whose judgment you trust: parents, teachers, and friends can all be great resources, but how helpful someone will be depends on the individual and how willing you are to take criticism from her. Also, keep in mind that many people, even teachers, may not be familiar with what colleges look for in an essay. Your mom, for example, may have never written a personal statement, and even if she did, it was most likely decades ago. Give your readers a sense of what you'd like them to read for, or print out the questions I listed above and include them at the end of your essay. Second Pass After incorporating any helpful feedback you got from others, you should now have a nearly complete draft with a clear arc. At this point you want to look for issues with word choice and sentence structure: Are there parts that seem stilted or overly formal? Do you have any vague or boring descriptors that could be replaced with something more interesting and specific? Are there any obvious redundancies or repetitiveness? Have you misused any words? Are your sentences of varied length and structure? A good way to check for weirdness in language is to read the essay out loud. If something sounds weird when you say it, it will almost certainly seem off when someone else reads it. Example: Editing Eva's First Paragraph In general, Eva feels like her first paragraph isn't as engaging as it could be and doesn't introduce the main point of the essay that well: although it sets up the narrative, it doesn't show off her personality that well. She decides to break it down sentence by sentence: I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week. Problem: For a hook, this sentence is a little too expository. It doesn't add any real excitement or important information other than that this call isn't the first, which can be incorporate elsewhere. Solution: Cut this sentence and start with the line of dialogue. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—" Problem: No major issues with this sentence. It's engaging and sets the scene effectively. Solution: None needed, but Eva does tweak it slightly to include the fact that this call wasn't her first. I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone. Problem: This is a long-winded way of making a point that's not that important. Solution: Replace it with a shorter, more evocative description: "Click. Whoever was on the other end of the line had hung up. Problem: This sentence is kind of long. Some of the phrases "about ready to give up," "get the skinny" are cliche. Solution: Eva decides to try to stick more closely to her own perspective: "I'd heard rumors that Atlas Theater was going to be replaced with an AMC multiplex, and I was worried. There's a real Atlas Theater. Apparently it's haunted! Step 7: Double Check Everything Once you have a final draft, give yourself another week and then go through your essay again. Read it carefully to make sure nothing seems off and there are no obvious typos or errors. Confirm that you are at or under the word limit. Then, go over the essay again, line by line, checking every word to make sure that it's correct. I was shocked. At that point I had written other essays I was considering for the Common App: essays about growing up as the youngest journalist on the red carpet, entering the world of theater as a playwright, or committing to Asian American representation in mainstream media. But my mom knew me so well—she could immediately see that this essay showed my core values and how I came to be who I am today. It may have been a risky move—but it was me on paper, through and through. For me, that meant pushing past my first idea of writing about my accomplishments and giving myself the freedom and space to explore. My first ideas were valuable, but digging deeper for the unexpected paid off in many ways. When it was finally time to send it off after countless of revisions, I was at peace with my application. Not only did I produce a portfolio of essays I was proud of, but I had also learned so much about who I was and who I wanted to be. Because the essay mattered to me, perhaps it mattered to my college readers. Turns out, it also mattered to readers around the world who could relate to my relationship with my mom, or the feeling of being an outsider, or how my family unapologetically embraces our flaws. At last, it is time to return home to Shanghai. In another week I will cross the globe to start a new life in a foreign land called Charlotte. Which is home? The place I am leaving or the place I am going? Arrival or departure? Unsettled, I turn to my ever-present book for comfort. They say the best books tell you what you already know, resonating with your own thoughts and emotions. As I read, it is as if the tempest of my thoughts is spelled out on paper. His words somehow become my words, his memories become my memories. Despite the high speed of the bullet train, my mind is perfectly still — trapped between the narrative of the book and the narrative of my own life. I read the last page and close the book, staring out the window at the shining fish ponds and peaceful rice paddies. I feel like a speck of dust outside the train, floating, content and happy to be between destinations. I am at home between worlds. I speak both English and Chinese: Chinese is for math, science, and process, but I prefer English for art, emotion, and description. America owns my childhood, filled with pine trees, blockbuster movies, and Lake Tahoe snow; China holds my adolescence, accompanied by industrial smog, expeditious mobility, and fast-paced social scenes. We are drawing into Shanghai Hong Qiao station.

In the summer, she teaches online Creative Writing classes. Catch her coffeehouse jumping and obsessing over the Marvel Cinematic Universe.